Over the past few weeks, Mrs. Clayton and us were working on our persuasive writing pieces. We worked so hard and finally got it done. In this essay, I will be persuading you to lower your volume during bus rides.
Some things that I think I did well is using repetition. I think that because I used it throughout the essay. In one of my paragraphs, I used repetition only. Another thing I think I did well is adding lots of mini stories.
Things to work on can be to use more transition words. I only spotted some transition words in the beginning of paragraphs. I also might want to work on including facts to my essays.
I hope you all enjoy my essay!
I agree with you,Johan. I listen to my music as loud as it can go because the kids on my bus won't be quiet even if the bus aunty tells them. I always have a headache after the bus ride and my ears hurt from listening to my music. So I would love to have this happen.
ReplyDeleteI agree with both of you because my bus auntie tells be quiet but they never do.
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